Not As It Seems
It’s December 2023 and Christmas is just around the corner. Such a mild winter, our kids were bemoaning the lack of snow but the cottage was cozy and festive all the same. During the 3 months we had been here, while Steve was busy making these big projects come to life, I was settling into something too. I had entered this new phase of surrender and trust, knowing that things were happening just below the surface and that even though the evidence wasn’t yet apparent, it was like a spring blossom furled into itself until all the right conditions allow it to pop above the soil.
I had a beautiful beginning to my little retail business, Hive Wellbeing, but after we moved (twice!) in the summer, packing all the inventory up into boxes, I just couldn’t get myself to properly engage with it. I didn’t want to unpack it into the cottage house, I didn’t spend the time I should have promoting it online, growing my following and making ads, I just didn’t have the heart. I am that person that can create something from nothing in record-breaking time and I am also that person that will just go into complete freeze mode if the conditions change or feel unstable. So where I likely should have been pushing myself to sell the incredible inventory I had amassed at quite the cost, I instead turned inward.
I’m so affected by my environment, are you?? The massive beauty outside these cottage walls is stunning, it’s been so special to cast my gaze over kilometres of water, rocky islands, tree lined vistas. I see eagles, foxes, all matter of waterfowl. The giant pine trees are out every window, their needles blanketing my steps when I hang out the clothes on the line. But inside it’s not my house. When we first moved here I just sat down under a mountain of exhaustion and was still. It wasn’t until my dear friend Jeni came that I shook out of my stupor and together we made the house a little more me, propping up some photos of the girls, putting out some crystals and plants. But this is someone’s family home, they’ve lived here for over 60 years! Their art, their furniture, their quirky decorating and design choices. I felt unable to settle, I still do, because on top of it not being my house it’s only my rental until May. I can’t bring myself to fully unpack but that forces this sort of half-here-half-nowhere vibe that is intensely uncomfortable at times. I just decided to let it be what it was and not beat myself up for not fully enjoying this experience.
I stopped banging my head against the wall because Hive wasn’t flourishing, I trusted it would at the right time. I wasn’t endlessly scouring the local realty pages looking for the next place to be, I believed the right house would find us when the time was right. I started yoga again, I was cooking and reading and just letting life be as it was. I chose to put everything that felt like striving aside, let that be next years problem.
On top of this, there was my youngest starting school for the first time. Sweet Edie Plum, such a light and a joy, my little sidekick. It was to be my first time without a kiddo alongside for years! I had mixed emotions but she loves her little preschool, it was a totally smooth transition. I guess I also should mention we chose this as the time to get not one but two puppies. You may be thinking I’m addicted to chaos, I may also agree. We said goodbye to our beloved family dog Lola in 2018 and just felt such a gap without her. We adopted little Boxer/Border Collie mix twin sisters, Georgie and Olive, and suddenly those long anticipated days of being alone were a fantasy. I won’t say it was a mistake to get these particular dogs at that particular time but I wouldn’t advise anyone else to ever do it.
Life was full steam ahead! There were a few sticky points with these development properties Steve was working on, they were definitely taking more time to get out the gate than we had first thought, but they also all depended on the this one thing.
Our seemingly flawless property deal with a family friend, the one that would give us the equity we needed to pour into the development projects, pay off newly incurred debt and begin a legacy for our girls, was becoming a headache. When the original closing date got pushed, I started to get anxious, but did my best to go back to the trusting flow state I had entered in the fall.
The deal was unconventional and creative but attended to by several legal teams and all aboveboard. Our family friend was doing us a favour by allowing us to pay him over time so we could make the most of the equity, it was an incredibly generous offer. We started a new corporation to hold it all and ensure its longevity as an investment for our girls. But after the first delay in late November, the house not being vacated, it felt like things might not be as they were portrayed. We agreed to give the homeowner another month to sort out his end.
Suddenly a property came up for sale that left me breathless when I read the listing.
Serendipitously our realtor sent it at the exact moment I happened to open MLS, making it feel like it had truly just appeared for our benefit. It was perfect. Or as close to perfect as any property we had looked at for ourselves had been in four years. A 150 year old house, beautifully updated but still with lots of room to make it our own, barns, outbuildings, beautiful gardens, a gazebo, fields, woods, all laid out in the most beautiful proximity to one another. A long driveway creating privacy. Located just minutes from our best friends houses! And a five minute walk to the river. Sealing the deal was this incredible newly built small cabin with the most adorable tiny wood stove you ever did see.
It took me approximately three minutes to envision the next 20 years there — the apiary, the bountiful gardens, veggie/eggs/bakery stand at the road, the joy of opening the Versailles windows in the house, the beautiful workshop Steve would build in the garage, the art and writing studio I would make in the cabin — I booked a showing immediately. And seeing it in person, less than 24 hours later, it was sealed. For us all, the girls, Steve, we were in complete alignment that this was our dream house come to life.
It felt like suddenly everything was perfectly orchestrated — the house we were buying from our friend was delayed, but only by a month, by the time it closed we would be positioned just right to move ahead with all the development projects and this new homestead dream. Everything was happening all at once and it just felt like years of waiting were finally paying off. I fell asleep envisioning our lives unfolding there and felt certain we had finally gotten what we wanted all these years, our patience was being rewarded more than I could imagine.
A week before Christmas we made an offer, it was a bit under asking but I included a letter pouring out my heart to this family, allowing them to share the vision we had and see how they truly would be leaving their beloved farm to a family who would steward it with so much care and love. And I asked to not be immediately discounted if they got over-asking offers, to keep us in the loop and we would do everything in our power to go the distance needed.
And then we waited. Even though we were first through and submitted our offer quickly, we gave some extra time for them, positioning it all around the Winter Solstice. I mean how much more magical could it get! The homeowners realtor encouraged the family to wait until they had a few more offers to review, our realtor let us know there were now three of us vying for the property. Still I was steadfast in my conviction with this house, I was undeterred.
Then I got the call.
Stay tuned for part 3.